


Humanity’s Secret Favorite Pastime

by thebaby01



Series: Kaidan Porn Week 2018 [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Kaidan Porn Week 2018, M/M, Masturbation, self love day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 12:16:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15267315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebaby01/pseuds/thebaby01
Summary: Kaidan realizes that study he read regarding orgasms helping with headaches might be accurate.





	Humanity’s Secret Favorite Pastime

**Author's Note:**

> For Kaidan Porn Week 2018 Self Love Day. [Find me on Tumblr sublimesoulpeanut](%E2%80%9Dsublimesoulpeanut.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D)

Kaidan was actually alone in the house. No neighbors, no mom, no John, just him, sprawled on the couch, eyes closed, soaking in the silence. Shepard had one of his regular physical therapy appointments today, and normally Kaidan would’ve gone with him, except that this morning he’d woken up with a headache and there was no way he’d travel anywhere with the risk of a migraine starting. Instead, Kaidan’s mom had gone with Shepard and left Kaidan at home to nurse his head. 

The quiet and dark in the living room were helping, but Kaidan was seriously considering climbing back into bed. His medication would make him groggy anyway and the draw of comfy was too tempting to ignore. As he flopped onto the bed he got a waft of blended smells: shampoo, soap, sweat, a mix of all things John that had him burying his face into the pillow to get more. A few deep breaths and Kaidan groaned and flipped over as images of John between his thighs in this very bed took over his thoughts. His fingers were slowly trailing down his chest, across his stomach and into his sweats as his omnitool let him know he had a message. He opened it to see: 

_John: How’s the head?_

Kaidan laughed at the unintended joke. He glanced down at the bulge in his sweats and decided to be evil. He rearranged things until the head of his dick was barely peeking out of his waistband and snapped a photo.

_Kaidan: The headache is okay…_

_Kaidan: but I think I have a more immediate problem. [image attached]_

_John: K, I love you, but if you make me hard while I’m sitting next to your mother I’m leaving you._

_John: For a much uglier man._

_John: Who won’t send me unbelievably fucking hot photos at inappropriate times._

_Kaidan: I came to bed to sleep, but your pillow smells like you and it’s making me want you so bad. I miss you._

_John: You’re a shit._

_Kaidan: I’m stroking myself John, imagining it’s you, but it doesn’t feel the same. I need you to help me._

Kaidan was slowly stroking himself to full hardness. He reached into the bedside drawer and got some lube to ease the slide through his palm. He’d leaned back into the pillow and shut his eyes, picking up the speed of his strokes when he got another notification.

_John: I know you can’t hear me, but there was a sigh. A sigh filled with suffering. I swear you have a kink about waiting until I can’t touch you and then torturing me. I’m praying that I won't be hard when I have to get out of the car._

_John: But I also don’t think I can resist you when you get so needy._

_John: I wouldn’t be stroking you K. I want my lips wrapped around your cockhead while you stroke the shaft. That way I can focus on giving you nice, hard sucks right where you need them, and licking up all that precum that I know is dribbling out right now._

Kaidan groaned as he felt his dick pulse at reading Shepard’s words. He’d begun to thrust up into his hand as he imagined Shepard’s lips wrapped tight around the head of his dick, how good his tongue would feel. As the pleasure built he reached down and palmed his balls; rolling them around and lightly squeezing, moaning as the sensation added to the pleasure rolling through his body. 

_John: I bet you’d be fucking my mouth by now. I love when you get a good grip in my hair and pull me in tight to your body, as far as I can go. You make the best noises when your dick is down my throat._

_John: I know you’ve got that lube from our nightstand so I’d suck you until you were doing those husky little whispers of my name that you always do right before you cum. Then I’d lube up a finger and slide it inside you so I could feel how tight you clench when you shoot into my mouth. I love how you taste Kaidan. I love to hear you moan my name. I wish I was there._

With John’s encouragement Kaidan was much closer to orgasm than he’d expected. As he read the message about Shepard fingering him, he moved his hand down to brush across his hole. He decided to be evil again and turned on his camera before he slid a finger inside himself. 

His strokes sped up as the pleasure crested. The thought of Shepard watching adding just enough to have his orgasm rocket through him. He couldn’t help the breathless, “fuck...John” that slipped out as cum coated his stomach. 

As his stroking slowed and the pleasure faded he ran his fingers through the mess on his stomach and then licked them clean, tasting his release as he stared straight at the camera. Kaidan smiled as he hit send on the video and realized his headache was gone.

—At a physical therapy office in Courtenay, British Columbia—

Shepard had just finished his session and was grumpy and tired...though walking much better as he turned on his omnitool. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, in the middle of a conversation with Kaidan’s mom, Charlotte, eyes going wide as he saw a new message from Kaidan. 

_Kaidan: My head feels much better. [video attached]_

“Are you alright John?” Charlotte asked as she realized he’d stopped walking. 

“I need the restroom before we leave. I’ll just be a minute.” Shepard mumbled, his face going red before he turned back towards the bathrooms.

Kaidan laughed as a call from John flashed across his screen, if all of his “alone time” ended this way it might just become his new favorite hobby.


End file.
